There is a new energy in my veins today, and it doesn't come from Doctor Chandra Sen's pills. I'm going home. I don't care. I'm just going home. I'm tired and fed up. I'm somehow fearing that the Indian spell did not happen to me, that I have not learned anything from this journey, from these people and this culture. I was looking for peacefulness for my mind but my head is a twirl of thoughts. My soul is aching and bleeding. It is bleeding for what I do not understand and for what I do understand too well. But somehow I know everything is here, like in Brahma's dream. Something had happened. It's deep, like a massive millstone which has turned. It needs time, time and courage. It takes courage to be alive. And I cry and I get ecstatic. The search is not over.
So you think you've learned the mysteries of the world? I'll take you to a place full eastern taste. So won't you come? Won't you come? Say the magic word and we can fly away. I do believe in the eastern palace. I'm sure it exists. But once you can get to the East, you know you can go further East, that you can get further undressed and more free. So I need to stop just for a minute. I need to observe my breathing just for an endless minute and quieten my mind. I am just sensations. And I am equanimous to them. Then, fearless, I set myself off. The search is not over.
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