Bangalore's vibe and a zillion people in the market

If you can't stand the heat, then get off my street!
Everything is fine. Today a guy tried to pick me up at the botanical gardens in a very slimy way. Today I had the best tahli ever. Today I met a very nice guy and he offered me a fag and gave me directions. Today ain't finished yet. I am in the centre of Bangalore's night life. Babes out here are pretty nice, I'd better leave this internet point and get the night started. I look such a tourist, I even have the little backpack with the little toothpaste and brush on my shoulders. But who cares!
I made a reflection today. I am quoting Vann here: "you cant know the limit until you have reached it". I am quoting Cohen: "even if you can, it doesnt mean you should". It is a fine fine line and a matter of responsibilites. But we are expert tailors with the instinct of animals. That's simply the way we do. The fun is all here. And to be honest, I would not want it otherwise.

Monticelso tutti frutti

If there is no holy man there are no pilgrims. If there are no pilgrims there is no holy man. You see, everybody needs each other. And it is beautiful to be part of this big happening that is human life. These last days I have been a pilgrim. On Monday I risked to die squeezed in between hundreds of people in the cages leading to the golden temple. I waited for six hours standing, skin to skin with kids, old men, women and men eager, ravenous to pass the several doors that lead to the temple. I was scared for real. But I eventually made to the temple which is completely covered in gold and silver, I made my wish, I touched what I needed to touch, I admired the power of the Gods and his ministers and I collected my sweets. Today I waited for 3 hours to see Sai Baba, in a much more civil way no doubt. We sat in the temple singing for one hour in front of Sai Baba who looks like an old Valderrama (football player from Colombia). I was sceptical seeing so many vanilla faces dressed in white robes meditating like perfect buddahs but I must admit that when Sai Baba appeared my heart let go and I was light and relieved in the moment. And although I was not lucky enough to be in the first row and give him my letter with my wishes on it, I could see that people really tried hard to sneak further in front to give him theirs. If he gets your wishes they become true. It was a lovely moment. Sai Baba is 83 right now and he spoke to people like the Beatles and such in the past. It was a circle closing up for me. Now I sense I have to move on, that my journey is just at the beginning. I need to stay with people, with street people. I need to not be scared. I need to take off my shoes and be brave enough to walk barefoot. I need to respect more. It is hard to explain if you are not me, which you are not indeed. Well, if you are concerned it is all good. I feel I cannot have enough of exploring and that the time is not enough. But when has time ever been enough? Yes, living is a matter of choices, of right moments and right timing. Whatever you choose is the right choice in the end but if you believe you can do everything, then you are a fool. SHANTI SHANTI SHANTII!

Dirty Diana

Went up to the monkey temple. Locals call it like that. I understood I don't understand. Watermelon juice. Yes, I came back to talk to the holy man but he was sleeping and so down went I and crossed the river back to the village. Lemon&mint juice. I bought a ring that will give me power, but it is not the one yet. I felt greedy for jewels and money. Money and how I relate to it is one of the most interesting things in India so far. Pineapple juice. Bartering is great. In western countries they take all the fun out of trading. Trading is one of the most important experiences in human relationships. Sitting in the shop of the Iranian guy before going back to my hotel room was so much fun. Mosambi juice. People are most interested in where I am from. I have been saying Italy more often than my name. Btw, water is holy. Where there is water there is life. And all the rest comes with it. Papaya juice. I feel I have been in a room for ages, walking by the wall again and again, I know all the cracks by heart. I can't find the way out but I feel there is a way out somewhere. It is all a matter of being able to wait, of being able to respect my ownself, of allowing myself, of not being afraid. I have been told there is a whole Eastern Palace to visit, I can smell the scents, I can hear the music and the women maliciuosly laughing I can dream of the new tastes and of the new colours, I want to join the party so bad.

Laxmi and the blessing trunk

Today I met a priest. He made little sense here. Everything I see belongs to the God of the Monkeys. He sits up there in the temple, overlooking the village and the ancient town. He has got monkeys as ministers and human beings worship him with mysterious rituals and a great deal of money exchange. I am feeling excluded and foreign because I can't understand and Im securing myself within the walls of western values and comfort. I have too many questions and no answers yet. I am mentally tired. All I need is relaxing and letting things happen. Like today, when I was sitting on the doorsteps of the train, looking at the landscape, the few groups of farmers here and there, and giving shapes to the trees...

who made who

Goa. A dump for westerners. I need to get the fuck out of this place. It is full of market stands selling things you can find in my hometown. Sellers even know stupid rhymes in Italian. Old hippies are here and there to be seen but they look passe' and drained up. The Blue Tao restaurant was good though: i had tufu with spinach cream and rice, plus papaya and pineapple fresh juices. No flea market tomorrow (the famous one) because it is off season. It rains every two hours and you cannot even have a bath in the ocean. Yesterday I ended up in a sort of Waikiki hotel close to Malvan. I had a shack by the beach all on my own and a she-dog as a friend. I spent most of the day hallucinating in bed because I was sick. Nothing I had expected to get in India: a heavy cold due to coming in and out of AC restaurants in Mumbai. I had fever as well. I had fish for dinner in this empty restaurant while listening to Indian murmuring away. Today I feel much better although I am still clogged. I am thinking more and more about Rajasthan and the lands at the border with Nepal and Pakisthan. Who knows? I'll head to Hampi tomorrow. The train from Mumbai is an awesome experience. The day before getting on it I was quite scared and unsettled. The are no doors, grids out of the windows and huge fans on the ceiling. It is all blu, on the inside and on the outside. There are people talking all the time and selling tea and snacks at every hour of the night. It is noisy. There are no compartments. The more peple you fit the more efficient. Like in the bus this morning: we were paked like sardines. And the train whistles now and again like in the stories you tell kids. India is killing me softly with its way and Im liking it.

swallowed

Ive met quite a few people. Ive heard quite a few stories already. Some things have been foretold to me. Some others have been totally unexpected. I see their immediate effect on my body, I see myself changing. With every bracelet I tie to my wrist, with every wish I make, with every step I take to pass through the gateway of India, I am compromising myself with no way back. Im sure the gateway of India is what people call the Horacle of the South. Only if you believe in something you will survive. If you don't believe, if you don't have any wish, if you are not curious to understand you are gonna... I don't even know. I don't even care to tell. I am folliwing hidden paths. I found my first baba, and he sells flowers but gives the stories away for free as presents. I have been on a Bollywood set (this is for you Sophie and Mr. Urey) pretending to be an exhausted hostage in the Taj Mahal Hotel, scared to death by blokes in fake uniforms, running away in the corridors at the word "action!!!", screaming RUMPA RUMPA (the Swedish word for ass) and exchanging amazing stories with Marion on the steps of a run-down hotel where five years ago a couple of murders took place. We got five hundred rupees for 14 hours, equal to 5days' worth of wage of a taxi driver. The locals, with us foregneirs on the set, didnt even get the money, they just got offered a dinner. I tell you what, fuck Bollywood! They could suck my fucking dick! When Mr David Vann was talking about responsibilities when you work in the industry, well I guess this could be a nice example. I rather prefer to meet the crazy artist that tells me that WORLD stands for Walking, Organizing, Reproducing, Lord, Dying. The meaning of life for dummies. And for geniuses as well. Thats all you need to know. The street is hard. It keeps you there. Chained. Squeezed. Under the sun and the rain. Crammed in between zillions of people. Washing clothes besides your neighbour's corpse. But that's natural. Cause the road leads you to different cultures, it smacks you in the face once, twice, and wait a minute, here is the third. You can fall in love on the road, real quick. I mean real quick. Woow. And then you have to go. No, I don't want your fucking drum! Wait, I just wanted to...yeah, one more hour, a few more words. But sometimes you are on a schedule. And it's gone. It takes strength. When you dont have anything to eat. When you are dirty and sweated. And there is dirt for miles and miles, piled up. The ocean is as dirty but at least is big and you can breath. But deep in the urban jungle of humanity you have to pay even for breathing. But all the roads eventually lead somewhere. And thats exactly where you are bound to. I have no plans, except for a train tonight, southwards bound. I have no real questions to ask. I am fucking eager to listen. Listening is much more important for me now. You take what you need. I take what I need. Right and wrong are almost meaningless. Just and unjust...well, it can be painstaking to define. Appropriate is a really nice concept though. Peace and love. Life is fun, fuck everyone! A teenager has just taught me this. Over.

And now fighting is up to you, young people of the world,

Do not come to compromises upon the duty of loving

Laugh at those who'll tell you about prudence

About convenience

At those who'll tell you to keep the right balance.

The worst predicament that could ever happen to you

Is that you are not helpful for anybody

And that your life is useless.

Follereau

I dont know why but I am scared, more than usual. Is it the right time then?

Someone told me once that even if you can it doesnt mean you should.

My head is a mess. The Eastern Palace, this is where I am set off to. Oh my God!

In the den

I got injected three times today. My body is like an armour against the evils of civilization, at least so have they told me at the medical centre. I am going to India in less than two weeks. Mama is in the alley collecting precious information to make me go safe, daddy doesnt know yet, I am in the kitchen juggling with a pair of dreams. Im grinning. I can see myself cruising in a taxi from the airport into the town of Mombai, that's it. That's all I can see. I dont know what the fuck is waiting for me. I have been thinking about me outfit for a long time though: a grey suit, mocassini shoes, light-blue cotton socks up to the knee and a light pink shirt. That's it. Let me go wherever I wanna go. Join me if you please or otherwise just step out of my way.