you haven't earned it yet, baby

I apologize for publishing a post after such a long time. These last days have been as dense as Nutella. As sweet as Nutella. I felt in love. If I tell you the girl is thirteen you'd think I am a pedophile. You should have seen her. Simple and intriguing as the coconut milk and ashes mix she uses as an eyeliner. A holy woman hugged me and this was not a trivial thing, although I was one in more than 26 million people. We estabilished an eternal relation with each other and I hope to live up to it. I saw a body burning away on the beach. Wooow. I had to take a shower and change my clothes loaded with negative energy afterwards. I reached the southern most point of India and I looked towards Antarctica. Everybody wants it. I spent the afternoon with Sanjib (a guy of my same age) and I understood my principles deserve to be revised. That was an intense afternoon. I dined with Giammarco who told me about his experience as a volunteer in Mother Theresa's mission in Kolkata. I was stuck in a train for 8 hours to cover 300 km. A fucking joke. I spent two lovely days with Siobhan, a crazy photographer from Holland and we went ring shopping together. We also went to the movies for a Bollywood experience. Now I am bogged down in a tropical south that doesnt want to let me go. I am a bit tired of being on the road. I need healthy food and more food. I need to breathe. I'll wake up at 5 am tomorrow to try to get a ticket for the four coach train bound to Ooty. I'll be able to see awesome places in the mountains, so they say.
There is one God. Call him as you want, it doesnt matter anymore. So far India has been an awesome example of religious tolerance and integration. Jesus came this far, it is amazing. But he is one out of many amazing people. Hugging people is amazing. Somebody has doveted her life to it. You might not like the thosands of people dressed in white around her. The smiling faces, the perfect meditation positions, the spiritual names. I didnt like most of it too. But the centre around which the community lives is amazing. All the answers are whitin ourselves. But it is a hard job, mostly down to will power. A matter of priorities in the end. I felt stuck and alone, a stupid renegade. Just because my mind is not ready yet and my heart is shy. It took hard days of trying to understand, just to see the light for a wink. And now I am feeling all the weariness on me. Im fed up with this continuos noise, with the pushing, with the shit all around me. Things are settling within me and I need to take it easy. It is like running a marathon while digesting a Xmas meal.
If you feel confused by this post don't worry, I am feeling confused and tired right right now. And I dont feel like writing anymore. But let's make a promise all together. Let's never stop learning, let's never settle on our personal and cultural pillars. The essence of man is so delightfully complicated and it requires constant effort and curiosity, good predisposition towards our own selves and the others. Flexiblility is a virtue and so is humility. I sat on the pier and was watching the sea. There is something awesome about reaching a cape and feeling the continent breathing behind you. There is a massive stone statue looking over India from down there. I was waiting for a 20m high surge of water to create out of nothing and hit me and my weakness but it didnt come. Thank God it didnt. Thank God it didnt. I have a chance to countinue my journey and change for the better.